babii_blue_eyes :: Recent Entries

Title:	OMG :'(
Date:	2008-09-20 @ 16:10
Security:	public
Location:	parents dining room
Music:	kate winslet - what if?
Mood:	depressed

I can't take it much longer :(

The one good thing i had in my shitty life has gone and is probably never coming back
I miss tom so much i need him with me and now he's in uni he's probably going to find someone so much prettier and nicer than myself and i don't think i could take it.

Stupid myspace stupid fucking boys. i hate the rest of the effing male race. I'm sorry but if you are male and you want to try and make advances on me even though you've known me about 5 minutes don't bother *lesley rogers*.

I want someone to make tom see how much i actually love him and adore him. i don't think i could go on without him there for me its killed me this past week being here without him and i just want to go out and get rat arsed but it will probably make me worse
.
what if he falls for someon in uni?
what if he realises he doesn't love me anymore?
what if i end up being without him?

i need HELP

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Title:	:/
Date:	2008-03-22 @ 18:11
Security:	public
Music:	Alphabeat- fascination
Mood:	crappy

humpfhhhh

im bored.
I seen tom today for a total of what 2 hours? arghhh. Last night was good though house oarty in some randomers house in Caerphilly. Got a bit too drunk of this russian vodka stuff which like knocked me for 6 when i drank it. It's making me heave just thinking bout it. just made up beast of a song for dannie vaughan . Ithink i have to much time on my hands well its to the tune of if your happy and you know it (8)

danielle vaughan sucks sour lemons on the sly

dannie vaughan sucks sour lemons

and they make her flash her melons

danielle vaughan sucks sour lemons on the sly

(8)

awwwwwwwww christ :']
im a fuckign nutter x

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Title:	:)
Date:	2008-03-18 @ 14:27
Security:	public
Music:	Lil john - Get low
Mood:	crushed

I want to see Tom now. My mood has uplifted somewhat and yet i still feel like rubbish, tbf though i think the 2 doese of co-codomol i have taken are only now starting to kick in. Later i think i will just unwind in bed listening to some music or something. I attempted to do some of my coursework they cant moan about that (my parents this is) but i doubt for some reason the coursework will ever leave my computer memory. I hated the way Alex was so lovely to me just now, it makes me feel like crap the way im treating him soo badly but i cant seem to do anything about it :/.
Tom text me last night i cant seem to get it off my mind, he doesnt feel the same way about me as i do to him. When i told him i loved him before he seemed to just accept it. But he text me last night and it said ''babes id happily turn down any drink to be in bed with you for a second coz your soo amazing.I like you soo much its not even funny babes your awsome.'' I dont know what to do about it i cant force him to fall in love with me i just wished i haddent made a fool out of myself in front of him.
My vegetable soup sittitng next to me slowly rotting away is starting to reduce me to tears and its making me heave with the odour its starting to produce. I really do think i should go throw it out and get a drink because im feeling slightly parched.
Hmmmmmm

right tomorrow i thinks :)

x
x

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Title:	Hmmmm
Date:	2008-03-18 @ 09:16
Security:	public
Music:	Leona Lewis - Footprints in the sand
Mood:	drained

Today i have not gone to school.. Again. I Don't know what it is but i just can't bring myself to going. I hate the way Mrs Voyle always singles me out to embarass me in front of my class and i hate the way yesterday, i told her i could't work because i had no-one to work with in my orals for my welsh exam and she just went 'aww diddums' as if it was some sort of joke, when she was the one who had left me on my own in the first place. I don't like the way either that my teachers stick their noses into all my business, at the end of the day i know they are only trying to help me but why only start caring now? Why not care when i needed it most ? My mam has currently gone to the hospital. She's gone for some diabetes test which she's using as another excuse for her not to get up off her arse and do things. I miss the way my family used to be so close and i miss the way i was always 'daddy's girl' - these days it seems to be nobodys girl. The only great thing in my life atm is Tom. Hes amazing he's always there when i need him and he murders his petrol just by coming to see me on a staurday and when i have fridays off. He took me out for a meal last tuesday as well, it was proper posh bless him. I'm currently tryimg to take one step and one day as it comes, i have my g.c.s.e's this year in june and my cousins wedding four days after. From now on i think my life will be on the up because tbh it cant get much worse but who cares ive learnt to live with it.

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